Thoughts from Proverbs 31
...and wishing a very Happy Birthday to my dear friends turning 31...
As I was thinking about Proverbs 31 and reading the familiar chapter, I tried in vain to learn the exact context of this passage. Notwithstanding Wikipedia, there is some debate as to whether the “Lemuel” referred to in the first verse of Proverbs 31 is king Solomon or some other king not mentioned significantly in Scripture.
The first nine verses of the chapter are an exhortation from a mother to her royalty son…She exhorts him not to give his strength to women or others things that destroy kings. Then she tells him it is not for kings to drink strong drink—lest they forget the law and pervert judgment of the afflicted.
So, was it Bathsheba giving advice to her son Solomon, knowing one day he would be king of God’s chosen people and encouraging him to build habits that would make him great? I guess we don’t know for sure. 
What we do know is that if it was, it didn’t work. In fact, after a thousand attempts, Solomon had not found the woman his mother describes in verses 10-31—the one who would have been worthy to wear the title “queen” and to help him rule a nation.

What we do know is that the women Solomon did find turned his heart away from the Lord his God and encouraged him to follow other gods. Solomon’s failures hastened the demise of the entire nation of Israel who, in turn, also followed strange gods.

Regardless, the Proverbs 31 woman has stayed with us, a nameless description of a wife and mother of noble character. Anyone who has spent any significant amount of time in church has probably heard countless messages and Bible studies on the Proverbs 31 woman and rightfully so. There is a lifetime’s worth of practical goals packed into those 21 verses.
But today I’d like to just talk about one. The second half of verse twenty five. I’ve seen it interpreted as “she smiles at the future,” “she shall rejoice in time to come,” and even “she laughs at the time to come.”
I thought this was fitting for a birthday party, because birthdays—like it or not—remind us that time is going by. We are getting older. The future is slowly slipping into the past moment by moment. That’s why some of us hate birthdays. While others just wish we could have the “party” part without the “growing older” part.

When I went to get my hair done a few weeks ago, I glanced through some of the health and beauty magazines lying on the table. Pages and pages of instructions on looking young, staying young, reversing aging. Product after product to erase lines, erase age spots, speed up your metabolism, thicken your hair, and who knows what all else. The fact of the matter is that we equate youth with beauty. And we, as a society, waste a lot of time and money trying to find the fountain of youth.

So…the Proverbs 31 woman smiled, even laughed at the future…why exactly was that? She would get older like the rest of us. She would get varicose veins, aches and pains, her vision would go, and maybe she would need false teeth. Yuck. So why look forward to the future? She was already married. She already had children, and in time they would grow up to leave her. They would make decisions of their own, and perhaps not even the best of decisions. The world around her would change. Kingdoms would fall. Her husband might lose his throne (his job) or even his life.

So, now that I have painted this dismal picture, I will ask one more time…what in the world was she laughing about?

I have been chewing on this verse all week, and I hope you’ll permit me to share some of the thoughts I have on this with you

Contentment
The first thought I had is this…regardless of the future, of time, of aging, some things will never change. In one of my favorite passages, the writer of Hebrews says, “Let your conversation (character) be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”

The writer makes a progression here…be content with what you have, because after all, Jesus has promised never to leave us or forsake us. Clearly, contentment leads to security. Security: that is the stuff that can smile at the future knowing that with the Lord as our helper—we have no need to fear what man will do to us.

Contentment…it’s easier said than practiced. It seems to have evaded most of the actors in Hollywood, the singers in Nashville, and the politicians in Washington. Riches, fame, and power cannot seem to produce happy people or healthy families.

But contentment is a well-rewarded virtue. It leads to happiness, security, and beauty faster than any other quality. And perhaps it grows and spreads best when radiated from the life of a woman who can smile at the future. There is no beauty like contentment.

Some things are guaranteed to change. And time will gradually rob us of some of the features that this world mistakes for beauty—No matter many surgeries you have or what products you use. But time is powerless against your contentment and your security because we are guaranteed our Savior for all eternity.
Leave the Scars

But there is more than just the gradual aging process that I dislike about looking forward. It is knowing that life includes a lot of scars…cuts, bumps, and broken bones…things that may never heal completely. Lives can be jerked to pieces in a matter of moments. And so can relationships, families, and finances.

For years, I have heard friends and church leaders take comfort in Romans 8:28, “For we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
But the most striking testimony I ever heard of this passage was given by a young Christian missionary to Australia. His wife had recently died from cancer, leaving him to father four young children. He read that verse, but he didn’t stop there. He read the next verse, “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”
He talked about how in difficult times, we all tend to ask “why” and feel like we receive no answer. But the answer is in our Bible. All things work together for good to them that love God. For those who are committed to His purpose. And what is His purpose? It is to conform us to the image of His son. The fact of the matter is, we tend not to value the idea of being like Christ. We value our own comfort and happiness.

He loves us, so He allows wounds in our life. In fact, He himself “chastens” us and “scourges” us. In today’s English, He spanks us. But it goes further than that. In Bible times, when someone was scourged, they were often whipped with ropes with iron pieces tied to the ends. The scourging not only hurt, it wounded. It took pieces out of the offender.

And God tells us He chastens us because He loves us. He loves us too much to leave us the way we are. In our proud, selfish states—thinking the world revolves around us, trying to change circumstances and people, and getting frustrated when things don’t go according to our plan. Naturally, that is me. And how God must just hate that.

So God, in his love, spanks us. And in the process, we find out how much we love Him. Do we become bitter, resentful, and angry? Or do we welcome the unexpected changes knowing that He is about His purpose of making us like His Son?

As I thought about this during the week, I listened over and over again to a song that says it so eloquently—
I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar.

[Point of Grace]
Best is yet to come

Lastly, while we know God wounds us because he loves us, we also know that He rewards those who love Him. “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things that God has prepared for those who love Him.” 
So, we can smile at the future, because, quite frankly, the best is yet to come! Right now we see as if through a mirror dimly, but then we will see God face to face. Now we know Him partially, but then we shall know Him the way He knows us: intimately, personally, completely.

Yes, the best is yet to come. We can’t fully imagine heaven, but we can be confident that God is preparing a place for us. And at last, life will be perfect!
I hope that it doesn’t seem morbid that I would allude to heaven at a birthday party. Okay, maybe it is a bit unusual. But when Christ took the stinger out of death, He also took the stinger out of birthdays, even for women. At least for Proverbs 31 women.
After all, younger does not mean more beautiful. So I challenge each of you – Be content. Keep your scars. And just imagine heaven because the best is yet to come!