Men in My Life

A few weeks ago, I took advantage of a free evening to visit a new church. While I was sitting alone in a pew waiting for the service to start, the Pastor walked up to me asked my name, and then said, "Are you married?"
"No." I said.
"We'll have to fix that." He said, as if I'd said I had a leaky faucet or a hole in my garage door.
Now, if you ask me, being single is not exactly synonymous with being broken. I guess he's of the mindset, "if it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is."
Pastor Stevens is only one in a long line of well meaning (or just nosy) people who ask about the men in my life...and some times try to go a step futher...
Since I greatly appreciate the efforts of all friends and family members to help me find someone to fix my garage door, I thought I'd make it easy for you and answer the "is there a man in your life question" with something besides my usual...

Of course, there's a guy who I love and who I'd do just about anything for. He's a cute blond, he has blue eyes and a winning smile. He's had my heart for about a year and a half now...I guess it will be two years on April 22 when he turns two. I guess that means he's a little too young to be fixing garage doors. Since he's my nephew I guess he's out of the running anyway.

But as long as we're talking about guys who are not in the running, I'll tell you about the friendly man next door. He came over to find out if the possum he trapped in his garage was mine. He had already "gotten rid" of it, but I didn't need to worry about it too much because he had handled the matter humanely. What a relief.

Yancey. Now there's someone who greatly influenced my life. He laid my kitchen and bathroom floors for me. He called me "honey" and darling," but he was married, and a tattoo-covered, cigarette-smoking kind of guy to boot.
He left his impression one day when I went by the house to see how work was progressing and he informed me that my shoes were ugly. They were fairly new and they were comfortable and practical, but I guess there is just no fogiving ugly. I never wore those shoes again.

Then there is...well...lets just call him our office tech guy. He comes in more often them we would like because our computers beak down more often than we would like. He has an afro and can't sit at my desk to work because he doesn't fit in my chair. He likes to make sure I understand each problem that arises and what he did to fix it. When he talks, it sounds to me like asdf jkl wiojkl jfkl;; awidkc jklwekjfd fjklsdf gjkldfg jfiewfkc cjklfkjew jklfgjkfld fjkleidk sjdfkl.

Then there is Nathaniel. He took me out for fondue over Thanksgiving weekend. I guess you would have called it a date if he wasn't my cousin. We had fun dipping strawberries in a bowl of chocolate and talking about his friend's sister who can't stand to drive with a car window down because she is deathly afraid of flying out the window.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea...there are plenty of men in my life and I'm learning to enjoy it, such as it is. In fact, being single gives me opportunites for all kinds of mischief.

For example, this week I received a card in the mail that I put on my desk at work. It is pink and has a nice spray of roses with the words "Please give me another chance" on the front. You should see the eyebrows it raises and the people who try to nonchalantly sneak a peak at it when they think I'm not looking. What a surprise they have in store for them when they find out it's from the phone company.

So anyway...I hope this helps satisfy your curiousity...or at least wets your appetite. And if you really want to help, feel free to send me another card to put on my desk. The more romantic the better.